“Everything that happens in our lives is for us to learn and evolve from, even abuse. There is a gift in everything.” Some people are a little surprised when I say that. I believe that all our experiences and relationships offer us a gift… if we chose to find it!
I survived childhood abuse – mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I had suffered a long time until I discovered self-help techniques – hypnosis, meditation, affirmations and energy healing. Through these modalities, I learned the power of understanding, forgiveness and acceptance, viewing another’s and my own situation from a different, a spiritual perspective, one of my greatest gifts. I went from survivor to thriver! I chose to turn a horrific experience into a gift…a gift that has allowed me to evolve into who I am today.
The woman in the picture is me and the man sitting next to me is my Dad…the person who abused me as a child. Some people question how I could want to spend time with him, let alone forgive and accept him. And, more challenging is when I say that I love my Dad, that he was my friend and my greatest teacher.
I learned how to understand and accept my Dad for exactly who he was. More importantly, I learned how to understand and accept myself! I know that I was an innocent child, as was my father. I know that he suffered from abuse and became an abuser because he didn’t have the courage, strength or love for himself like I do. Once I understood that, I began to heal.
Would I wish abuse of any kind on anyone? Never! Would I want to relive all the heartache and pain? No, thanks! Am I grateful for the lessons learned? Absolutely!
What I learned from this experience was a catalyst for change! I learned more about myself than I ever imagined. I learned that I could survive anything. And, more than survive…thrive. I remembered my courage to reclaim my inner wisdom, to heal and overcome obstacles; to trust in myself, my intuition and others. It made me seek a closer connection to God and all of creation. I learned compassion, understanding, forgiveness and acceptance. I remembered that I love myself. And, I made a choice – I broke the chain of abuse!
Because of this experience and the healing that I have done, I began my career as certified hypnotherapist, offering others the same hope, encouragement, healing and self-help tools that I discovered and benefit from. I know that each person can heal and evolve, no matter what they experienced in life. Anything is possible with love, compassion, courage and strength.
My father passed away July 1, 2010 after slipping into a coma. It was a peaceful passing and I was so fortunate to be at his side, holding his hand, kissing him on his cheek, whispering in his ear that I loved him and wished him a peaceful journey.
Editor’s Note: Vicki Wagoner has been a spiritual guide, close friend and occasional “guru” of mine for many years. When I started this blog project, she was the first person I sought out. I knew her insights and observations would be a major benefit to our community. Vicki’s father crossed over just this past year. This post is her reflection on a sometimes challenging, but also rewarding life-long relationship with him. Importantly, she talks about how our relationships – no matter how difficult – shape us and offer us the gift of powerful life lessons. For more information about Vicki, visit her Resource Page by clicking here.
